Wednesday, July 18, 2012

Snack Attack or (Keep yo' hands off of my 'maters.)

Anytime is pizza time.
Yesterday while doing some grocery shopping I noticed a woman with three children cruising down the bread aisle whilst munching on a slice of pizza at the same time.  I was mesmerized almost transfixed.  Here I was doing my shopping because I was almost out of food and I was getting hungry.  It never even occurred to me to kill two birds with one stone. Most supermarkets have their own deli or pizza place.  I could understand the appeal of eating before venturing forth through the endless aisles where the chocolate covered muffins with bacon frosting seem to call out to the famished customer.  Almost like Psirens luring an unsuspected sailor to his death.
In Soviet Russia, the tomato fondles you.
     The difference here was she was just casually strolling down the aisle with a slice of pizza in her hand, the grease most likely oozing off of the cheese.  She may pick up a box of cereal and the put it back leaving pizza grease finger prints.  She may have fondled the tomatoes in the produce section trying to find the perfect morsel.  Although from what I have gathered from looking at her, I don't think she was even aware of produce or anything that wasn't prepackaged.  I'm not saying that because she was overweight.  But her attitude seemed to suggest that if it wasn't processed it wasn't food.  The way she just threw boxes of sugar into the shopping cart at the request of her children.  Since when do adults listen to children?  Perhaps I am being a little mean or even judgmental but what else is there to do while shopping?  That's what people do.  You go to a place full of people and you automatically make judgments.  It's our brains way of staying sane.
It turned out she was a pregnant watermelon thief.
Image Source
     Just a few weeks prior I saw a pregnant woman pushing a cart burdened with just watermelons.  That's it.    I was amused because the melons were the same size and shape of her abdomen.  I was thinking, "Watermelons are high in Vitamin C.  Vitamin C is important to someone in their third trimester."  But underneath that I was also thinking, "This woman is a watermelon thief.  I'm sure of it.  She probably has a whole mess of watermelon themed weapons and even leaves a calling card at the scene of the crime.Okay, maybe I was the only one thinking that.  But I digress.  The point is, if you walk through the grocery store with three kids while eating pizza and throwing boxes of sugar and candy into your shopping cart it's a safe bet to say this person isn't exactly health conscious.
     This brings up a very interesting question.  Is it okay to have a snack while shopping?  Is it acceptable to snack on something before you have paid for it?  Let's say I open a box of cookies or take a swig out of the milk jug before I approach the counter.   I've seen parents give their children a grape or cookie to keep them quiet while they check out. This seems perfectly normal.  But a whole slice of pizza even if it was from their store. What if they had McDonald's?  What if I just went around the store and made myself a sandwich so I could eat while in line at the check out?  Is there a line to be drawn?  I would like to hear your thoughts on this.

Sunday, July 1, 2012

BK Bacon Sundae or (Sundae, Sunday, Sundai)

As the temperature rises along with the energy bills.  It's time to find alternative ways to stay cool this summer.  Burger King recently announced their new bacon Sundae.  I have no problem with that sentence.  Being a fan of both bacon and ice cream the next logical step is to combine the two.  Many will say "Ew" when thinking about combining a fried crispy meat product with a cold creamy dairy product.  I for one hold no fear for the unknown.  I set out on my quest to try the things that no one else dare.  I grabbed my wallet, I grabbed my car keys, I grabbed my jewel encrusted battle shorts and embarked on my glorious expedition to uncover the secrets of the bacon sundae.  I pulled my car around to the local Burger King.   I calmly asked for a bacon sundae and then pulled around to collect my purchase.  The girl at the window told me that she wasn't sure about the sundae when they first introduced them but she tried it anyway and had to tell me how amazing it was.  My excitement grew.  I mean, how often do you go to a fast food drive through and have the employee there tell you how good the food is you are about to eat?  I admitted to being an bacon sundae virgin and her smile only grew wider.
  "You're in for a treat." she said handing me the plastic cup containing my order.
  If you are reading this and grimacing at the thought of bacon and ice cream, don't knock it til you try it.  Sure, it seems weird.  However, if you have ever dipped your french fries into a milk shake, then this sundae is for you.    It didn't just have bits of bacon, it had whole frickin slices of bacon.  The saltiness gave a great contrast to the sweetness of the ice cream.  I almost found myself enjoying the bacon more.  I would have been perfectly happy with just a plate full of bacon and nothing else.   This treat however is a treat that keeps giving.  Approaching the bottom of the Sundae I found all the melted fudge and caramel but hidden within those chocolaty depths were smaller bits of bacon.  The saltiness dancing on my tongue while the sweetness melted over it.  
What about the fat and calories?
First of all, anyone ordering something called a "Bacon Sundae" isn't worried about calories.  Yes there are probably a butt ton of calories (*510 Calories and 18g of fat).  This isn't an every day treat.  Perhaps every other Thursday.

What if I can't eat pork?
First of all, you CAN eat pork.  You may have a religious restriction which would not allow you to indulge in pork.  Fear not, I have done some research and it says you will only be unclean until sunset. (Leviticus 11, Numbers 19).  The next day you should be right as rain.  On a side note, if you are attacked by suicide bomber, throw your sundae at them.  They will have to wait until the next day to carry out their plans.  If you can't eat bacon or ice cream for health restrictions then I do feel for you.  If you truly love something, you have to pay for it.  Sometimes with more than just money.  

Final Thoughts
Over all the bacon sundae does have a place in my heart.(as well as my hips, butt, and belly.)  Is it the greatest thing since sliced bread?  No.  Sliced bread is still pretty cool.  Just don't miss out on something because it seems weird.  Would you try or have you tried the new bacon sundae?  What are your thoughts?  Please let me know in the comments.


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