Monday, March 5, 2012

It Was the Breast of Times.


     "Beyonce breastfeeds Blue Ivy in a public New York restaraunt." I stared at this headline for about three minutes wondering why it was even a headline at all.  I mean she wasn't drunk, she wasn't hanging a baby outside of a balcony window, and she wasn't sending pictures of her Weener dog to Justin Beiber.  What's next? "Hugh Jackman pays for eating at Chipotles, takes an epic dump Wolverine style."   Ok I admit, I would read that second one.  I just didn't think breast feeding in public was a big thing anymore.  I remember hearing about it years ago, women were ridiculed for feeding their baby in public.  One terrified women tried to breastfeed in her car while two guys (jackass domesticus) leered into her window and laughed.  I just assumed we've moved on since then.  I have seen it from time to time, even at restaurants but I never thought anything about it.  I would have certainly noticed if the person got thrown out or if someone said anything.

     Breast feeding is perfectly natural.  Humans have done it since the beginning.  Somewhere along the way however, we have decided that it's a taboo now.  Mainly due to the popularity of breast fetishists. (99.9% of males) Suddenly breast feeding becomes this thing that makes grown men giggle like a thirteen year old hearing the word "Erection" in Sex Ed. class.  (Yes, I giggled too, but I was thirteen)  My point is this.  Would it be such a big deal if we didn't treat it like a big deal?  Think about that for a second.  If we didn't think it was a big deal, it wouldn't hurt anything.  Smoking has been banned from restaurants and there are two schools of thought on that. "Yay, it's about time smoking was banned."  and "What?  Where the hell am I supposed to smoke now on my lunch break?  I thought the point of a smoking section was to shelter us from the bullshit polite coughs made by the non smoking customers."  Now that is a true grey area.  Smoke can travel through the air into the nonsmoking secions and second hand smoke has been linked to cancers.  A ban would also protect the non smoking staff.  There are of course many arguments for both sides.  Breastfeeding on the other hand, really?  What has second hand breastmilk done for anyone?  Even if you're lactose intolerant, it doesn't make much of an impact on your day.
     My main concern is the name Blue Ivy.  Aw, what a cute adoreable name for a baby.  Yes it is cute.  But Babies grow up.  They become adults.  How would Blue Ivy look on a Resume?  "Ok, Ms.  Ivy.   It says here that you majored in music, modeling, and acting.  I don't see how that applies to the job of Airplane Mechanic.  Blue Ivy is such an adorable name, we'll hire you anyway just for shits and giggles.  Then the next headline reads, "Plane explodes during routine tire change." Oh God, let that be a real headline.
     Ok, to sum up.  Beyonce is being touted as A.) The greatest crusader in womans rights to breastfeed in public.  B.) Someone who needs to keep her clothes on in public.  or C.) An Alien robot sent from another galaxy but due to a hilarious mishap accidentally got reprogrammed to produce pop songs that sound like any other pop songs.  I am curious to what other peoples reactions are to this.  It's a move in the right direction yes.  I just assumed we already made that move ten years ago.  Please post your thoughts to this in the comments. 



  1. I agree completely. People don't need to make such a big deal out of breast feeding in public. It shouldn't be looked at any different than bottle feeding your baby in public. As long as the woman is comfortable with it, and chooses the environment wisely, I think its okay. I mean that, whipping out a boob in a public school to feed your little one might not be the best idea. A mother could ask if an empty room is available. Some buildings and malls even have rooms for this kind of thing and I think thats great! How thoughtful of them to think of the needs of the mother and baby! If the woman does it discreetly (and I think most do) such as covering up with some kind of cloth, then it should not be such a big deal.

  2. When my children were infants they were both breast fed. Breastfed babies eat on demand. No bottles schedule or ounces measured. Baby ate when hungry and quit when full. In my time when eating in a fancy restaurant, I had to go the restroom and sit on a stool to feed my child. It did not feel right or sanitary. In those days few mothers were breastfeeding since the invention of baby formulas. I am glad the public has become more informed and open minded about what is really best for the baby and mom.


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