Thursday, March 15, 2012

Stop Cooking your Dogs

     As the temperature gauge goes up, I start to notice the signs of summer.  College girls in short shorts, people with convertibles, college girls in short shorts, motorcyclists, and college girls in short shorts.  Another thing I've noticed is how fast a car heats up in the sun.  Cars are nothing more than green houses with wheels and an engine.  The light and other bits of radiation enters through the windshield or the side windows (depending where you park) and hits the inside of your car which turns into heat.  This heat then rises but can't figure out how to travel through glass.  So it sits in your car and and bounces around.  This can heat up your car pretty freakin' fast.
     The reason I bring this up, I still see cars with small dogs sitting in the front seat panting their little hearts out. 
     "But I was only gonna be in the store for a few minutes."  The owner might say.
     "That's all it takes for the car to turn into a pizza oven."  I would say back after beating them with a rolled up newspaper.  Adding "Bad human!" for good measure. 
     Here is a list of other excuses one might hear:
    -I left the window cracked:
It's still pretty hot.  I know I would be roasting and I am not covered in fur (not as much fur). Plus that cracked window makes it easy for a carjacker to steal your dog and your car.
    -I couldn't leave him at home he gets scared:
Better scared then cooked.   Besides, he's still being left alone, just without AC and cable TV.
    -I only left the dog to watch over the baby in the back seat:
*Censored*  DIE HUMAN!!!  DIIIIIIE!!! *Censored* *Censored* *Not sure what he said, but Censored just in case*
    -You can't tell me how to take care of my dog:
I h...You're only half right.  I most certainly CAN tell you.  You don't have to listen to me of course which makes you even more of a douche-bag.  However,in some states you could get a hefty $250 fine.  The government loves money.  I"m pretty sure this will catch on everywhere else.   

     You don't have to agree with me.  Maybe there are times it is okay to leave a pet in a vehicle.  If it were a cooler day it may be fine.  But use your judgement.  If it's 80 degrees outside it's going to be 110 degrees in the car.  If you have the money for gas maybe leave the car running with the AC on.  Dogs are not things.  They are living creatures.  I would be interested to know how my readers keep their dogs or cats cool during the hot summer months.  I would also like to know if any of you leave your dogs or cats in the car.  Please send me your name and address.  I have a rolled up newspaper with your name on it.


Photo: Dog in car window
by Nate Christenson  source:


  1. I guess I better bend over and take that rolled up newspaper like the college girl in short shorts that I am.

    Yes I've left my dogs in the car before. Yes I cracked the windows, and I HONESTLY was in walmart for only 5 minutes or less. I was getting drinks for myself AND the dogs before our 2 hour car ride out of state. If I could have, I would have stuffed them in my shirt and taken them inside with me. When I came out, a pregnant midget lady started cussing at me so I just ignored her, got in my car and started to drive off with her yelling at me that I can go ahead and leave b/c she already called the cops. Then I told her to F*** off. which I NEVER say! to anyone! And my dogs are just fine to this very day. The End.

    1. It's a judgement call. I'm sure it wasn't 90 degrees out. You know your dogs. The dog I saw was panting and looked uncomfortable.


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